08/31/12 - 0 Comments
Singles Guide To: Opening Up
It was a tough breakup. Your girlfriends know it, your mom and sister know it, heck, even your manicurist knows it. After the last few months of grieving, you’ve finally found a way to move on and everyone around you couldn’t be happier to see you coming out of your breakup blues (us included—hooray you!). This is not to say you woke up one day and magically forgot the pain of losing someone you had envisioned a future with, but, you have certainly made the conscious decision to fight through the pain and find your happiness. That’s a huge step in itself and we’re here to guide you through the beginning phases of the new single you.
Regardless of how long your relationship lasted, it can be hard to find your footing again as a single gal (especially with your friends in long-term relationships or even—ugh—married), but, we assure you, opening up again will only yield positive and almost immediate results. It can be hard to get out of your crab shell once you’ve suffered a minor heartbreak, no matter how badly you want to meet someone else (or, at the very least, be open to new people). So here are our tips on how to do it:
Fake it ‘til you make it. Surely you’ve heard the saying, right? It’s true with most things and it’s true with love and happiness. In a study conducted in 1988 by Fritz Strack, people were asked to hold a pencil in their mouth—one group using only their lips, which caused a frown to form, and one group using only their teeth, which caused a smile to form. Surprisingly (not), the group that was forced into a smile reported feeling happier than the group who was forced to frown. Moral of the study? SMILE. Look and act like a happy person would despite looking around and seeing an ocean full of guys you would never date. It will put you in much higher spirits and you never know who you’re going to attract with that big grin on your face!
Make some friends. Take it easy on yourself. You just got out of a relationship and the last thing you need to be doing is hunting down a new boyfriend. Give yourself permission to meet new people and make new friends. You’re much stronger and more confident than you give yourself credit for and now is the perfect time to let that fierce woman inside you shine. Opening up doesn’t mean you’re looking for a new relationship right away, it simply means you’re ready and willing to try new things and meet new people. Take this time to breathe and just have fun.
Never turn down an invitation. Now, obviously, we can’t always make it to every event we’ve been invited to (hey, we need at least one night per week to catch up on our DVR recordings and just chill), but the point is to do your best not to make an excuse every time you’re invited out. Whether it’s a dinner, rooftop party, beach-day-thing or just taco Tuesday at your local bar—stop making excuses and get out there. How many times have we met people we wouldn’t have otherwise met had we stayed home with our Franzia box wine and Netflix?
Stop thinking so hard. Go out on a limb—after all, what’s the worst that could happen? Inevitably you’ll find yourself taking a weekend trip to Fire Island with new friends or just throwing up your hands and giving in to creating your first online dating profile. Whatever it is you’ve thought about over and over again—stop thinking. Get some Nike in your spirit and just do it. Okay, we hear you, this isn’t a movie—you have to think through your plans and actions as a functioning adult in society. Wrong. If you feel like taking a salsa class you came across on LifeBooker, we beg of you, DO IT! Even if you’re ashamed of your two left feet and scared to meet new people, muster up the courage and get out there. Again, we ask, what’s the worst that could happen?
Just remember, being open to receiving new people into your life is more a state of mind than anything else. You have to let go of regrets, bitterness and worries to become open again—not only to people, but to opportunities as well. Find a way to wash away the regret (meditation, vision boards and yoga are all great starting points) and embrace a bold new you who’s ready to step out and meet the world.
Photo credit: Glamour