08/09/12 - 0 Comments
What Not to do on a First Date
First dates are a necessary evil of the single world, but, alas, something we all experience. Some dates are great, leaving you smiling the remainder of the evening, while some are, well, not so great. But don’t worry—we’re here to help with our top tips on what not to do when going out with Mr (maybe) Right.
Don’t Wear Revealing Clothes. When a guy is dating, he’s not usually looking for a one night stand. Usually, he is looking for a reasonable girl he can learn to love and possibly even take home to his parents. But who would want to introduce mom and dad to a girl in a low cut shirt and underwear-revealing skirt? Dress classy, ideally business casual, as if you are going on a low-key job interview. Yes, a little cleavage is fine, you don’t want to leave everything to the guy’s imagination, but it’s imperative to cover up a little. Reflect your personality in your outfit choice. Wear a long flowy skirt if you’re feeling bohemian, wear a pink top if you’re feeling extra girly or even get a French mani-pedi if you’re feeling more elegant. Regardless, we guarantee you’ll look great as long as you keep things tasteful!
Don’t Brag. Who wants to listen to a list of your accomplishments all night, on top of how great you are and how everything you do is perfect? No us, at least. Try to steer the conversation away from revolving around you. That’s not to say that we’re telling you not to talk about yourself. You’re allowed to talk yourself up to an extent, but the conversation should focus on him as much as on him. Accept compliments and give him some in return, talk about your achievements and ask about some of his, something great you did at work today perhaps, then ask what he does for a living. This way, you’ll not only learn about your mystery man, but you’ll also keep the conversation going all night.
Don’t Talk About Exes. Don’t even bring them up, unless you absolutely have to. If that’s the case, don’t go into detail. No boy, or even girl for that matter, wants to hear about your past relationships, the failures or the good times. It can make your companion uncomfortable, thinking about the last guy you slept with or went out to dinner with. He could be wondering whether it was your fault you guys broke up or if you did something to get the guy to leave. Also, if you constantly bring up an ex, it can be a clear indicator that you are not over him. Whether you are or not, for the new guy’s sake, avoid the conversation. It’s not necessary for a first date.
Mind Your Manners. No boy wants to see your food as you chew with your mouth open. Remember table manners, remember to eat respectively and remember, don’t freak out if you accidently mess up. If you spill your drink, it’s not the end of the world and it’s not a harbinger of your bad table manners. Just try to be as neat as possible, take small bites, use your napkin and please, don’t take your companion’s food without asking (remember this scene from Friends?). It happens and it’s a definite turn off!
While we’re on the subject of manners, please, Don’t Drink Too Much. It really isn’t becoming when a guy takes a girl out on a date and she drinks herself into a sloppy stupor. Yes, we understand you want to loosen up, but maybe talking and getting to know him without the excessive alcohol could help. It will make you look bad, the antithesis of girlfriend material. Please, save yourself the embarrassment. Alternate between drinks and water, or just don’t drink alcohol at all!
Don’t Be On Your Phone All Night. Or, actually, at all. It’s the 21st century and access to the wider world is in the palm of your hand. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Foursquare, text messaging, it’s all right there! Despite this, the guy you’re sitting across from wants all your attention to himself. After all, he’s taking you out, so it’s the least you can do. Stay off your phone, ignore the urge to check it when it beeps and it will pay off in the end. And, as at the movies, turn it off or set it to silent/vibrate mode only.
You’re Not Paying Tonight, So Don’t Push It. Sure, you can offer it and it’s definitely polite to offer to split the meal, or movie, or wherever you guys have gone on your first date. But any guy worth keeping won’t make you pay, so it’s always good to remember that chivalry is not dead. With that said, maybe don’t over-order. And this leads back to the drinks: take it easy!
Avoid Making Snap Judgments. So what if the first half of your date isn’t going great? The night is still young! Don’t make a snap judgment based on your first impressions of the guy—you wouldn’t want him to do the same with you. He could be shy and need time to warm up. Don’t pressure him into being something he’s not.
You, Too, Shouldn’t Be Anyone But Yourself. If you eat meat and he’s a vegetarian, ‘fess up! If you enjoy a pack of cigarettes a day and he doesn’t smoke, tell him! Not only is it a conversation topic, but guys love it when a girl is willing to admit she is different to him. Besides, lying will catch up with you in the end. And the only thing worse than not being yourself is lying about yourself!
We wish this was more obvious, but try to Refrain From Having A “Sleepover” After Your First Date. There is nothing a guy likes more than a challenge, so make it difficult for him. Make him work to get you back to his place. If you go for the win after round one, it is more likely you will simply be a one night stand. He may go back to his friends, telling them about how he “scored,” and you will be left waiting at the phone for his promised call (which may now never come). As we said before, a guy is looking for a mate while dating, someone he is compatible with and can potentially live with as the relationship progresses. Don’t ruin it by rushing into things. Ninety-nine percent of the time, it won’t be worth it!